Scott Dooley and I have some news, and we’d like to do this properly.
After roughly 9 months of labour, we are finally giving birth to a book. It’s a follow-up to our first, award-winning book, which you’ll recall is You’re Not A Real Dog-Owner Until… We’re excited to announce that the new book is called…
You’re Not a Real Parent Until...
It’s out on 13th October through Andrews McMeel, and I can confirm it was more fun to make than the way you make an actual baby. Almost. Depends who you ask.
Anyway. Today you get to see its face.
Ready?
128 pages. Full colour. Safe to leave on any coffee table, including your mother’s.
Long-time readers with preternaturally good memories may recall that Scott and I made the first version of this book a few years ago. This is the new and improved edition: new cover, new cartoons, same 2 idiots.
A note on our, er, credentials…
Scott has a 2-year-old called Leo, which means he wrote this book the way a war correspondent writes from the trenches: in short bursts, under fire, with something sticky on his sleeve. I do not have children, which I maintain makes me the impartial one. I have spent years observing parents the way Attenborough observes penguins -with enormous affection, from a safe distance, occasionally whispering extraordinary as one of them fishes a Hot Wheels out of a toilet. Between us, we have exactly the right amount of experience: one of us knows what it’s actually like, and the other one is well rested enough to draw it.
The book is, in fact, dedicated to Leo. So that’s nice.
Here's a taste of what's inside.
Now, the part where I ask you for something….
Pre-orders decide a book’s fate. Not reviews, not talent, not prayer: pre-orders. Booksellers look at the pre-order numbers and decide, right then, how many copies to put in shops. Every single pre-order tells Barnes & Noble to order more. It’s the one moment in publishing where 1 reader genuinely moves the needle.
And as luck would have it, Barnes & Noble has just made helping us cheap. From today until Friday, they’re taking 25% off all pre-orders. The only catch: you need to be a B&N Rewards member, which is free and takes less than a minute at checkout. (Premium members get a further 10% off the hardcover, because there’s always a velvet rope.)
The hardcover is $19.99, so with the discount you’ll pay about $15. For a real book. With a spine and everything.
This is the link to us. This one, specifically:
As of this morning, B&N’s website was shelving us next to David Sedaris and The Philosophy of Snoopy, which is the nicest thing an algorithm has done or will ever do for either of us. Pre-order a copy and help us stay there.
That’s it. That’s the whole ask. One link, 3 days, and my eternal gratitude -plus Scott’s… which is worth slightly less but comes with better hair.
‘til next time!
Your pal,
PS. Yes, the deal ends Friday. Yes, that’s soon. That’s rather the point.
PPS. Look, if you know someone who might like the book, please share this with them!
Just ordered six copies!
Congrats, Jason and Scott! 🙌